a lamp to my feet

For so long, I felt called to write, but I also thought I needed to know what it would turn into before I could actually show up and put pen to paper.

I would pray to God trying to figure out exactly what my “calling” was. I knew I was supposed to share my voice, and I loved to encourage people, but HOW?

Was I supposed to be a podcaster?

A blogger?

A speaker?

A writer?

How do I even get there? And doesn’t everyone want to do that?

Instagram would tell me I needed to take a speaking course, and TikTok would tell me I just needed to post three times a day about what’s trending.

And then one day I just thought… you know what?

I don’t have the capacity for all this noise anymore.

So I felt called to delete it.

I had heard Sadie Robertson talk about how she took a year off, so I said, okay—I’m going to take a year off too and see what happens.

Nothing else. No expectations.

I basically just told myself I’m done consuming short-form content. It was muddying my brain.

About four months into my social media fast… not much had changed.

I read a couple books.

Watched a couple series I probably wouldn’t have if I was still scrolling every night.

So nothing groundbreaking.

But I was finding joy in the art of TV and books again, and it made me so happy.

It felt so… simple.

Like, ahh yes—there is a way to be entertained that isn’t just spiking my dopamine with 70 videos in 30 minutes.

Then one random night I was thinking about planning outfits, and I thought—maybe I should get on Pinterest.

I had deleted it too, but in that moment I felt like I could download it without it becoming noise like Instagram.

And as soon as I downloaded it, there was this little thought like…

…you should be creating here.

And then another:

…you should be blogging and posting it here.

There was no real reason for those thoughts. Nobody told me to do it. It wasn’t coming from social media or some strategy.

It was just… there.

Intuition.

Or honestly, what I believe is the Holy Spirit guiding me.

And ever since then, I just decided I’m going to post one blog a week.

I made a plan and said—yep, this is what I’m supposed to do.

And it feels so aligned.

I say all of this because I spent so long searching for clarity.

I felt like I was crawling out of my skin—like I was supposed to be building something or doing something more.

But my problem was that I was waiting for God to show me the entire path before I started walking.

But He’s not a spotlight.

He’s a lamp to my feet.

A light to my path.

(Psalm 119:105)

And once I quieted all the distractions…

that light felt so bright✨